When people around me ask me how I am doing and I respond "I'm fine," nine times out of ten I am anything other than fine. Most of the time I am giving this short answer because I want to deflect their attention from me, and I don't want to share how I am feeling. The isolation I am trying to create is usually a sure sign that I am heading for a relapse. Sure I may not pick up a drink that day, or even that week, but relapsing is more of a process than an act. If the trend toward isolation isn't arrested, it won't be long before I AM picking up a drink.
It's important for addicts and the people around us to recognize our relapse signals. For me isolation is definitely one of them. So I have taken the word "FINE" and turned it into an acronym: Feeling Isolated & Not Engaging. When those around me hear me telling them I am "fine", they are now aware that I may be in trouble of relapsing, and it's time for them to dig deeper into how I am really feeling. Their additional level of concern and awareness should arrest my downward spiral and prevent me from relapsing because I will be forced to confront my true state of mind and communicate how I am REALLY feeling.
To better understand the relapse process, check out:
http://www.tgorski.com/gorski_articles/understanding_relapse.htm
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/relapse-prevention/
http://www.serenecenter.com/educators_docs/Serene%20Center%20Relapse%20Process.pdf
http://www.nationalpsychologist.com/articles/art_v9n5_3.htm
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